Whether you are under or over that AARP magic age of 50, perhaps this will help make your life easier from here on...a list of what I've learned the hard way. 

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And from my sisters, Arlene and Thelma.  I learned theirs listening to them.

 

The list is in no order of importance except for the first one.  It is the way a decent human being should behave all of her or his life. 

 

 

1.    Be kind to all as life is tough enough without making it harder for someone else.

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2.  Never trust anyone who says with a grin "Trust me."   

 

3.  Don't take stray dogs home, sometimes they bite.

 

4.  Don't take stray men home either.

 

5.  Ketchup will come outa the bottle finally with a big splash!

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6.  Even the biggest jar of Hellman's mayonnaise won't last long enough.

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7.  Not many of the "push down while turning" caps come off without a few                     obscenities and a broken polished fingernail.

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8.  Life is easier with a memory that forgets all the bad stuff.

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9.  Your child will be your heart with feet.

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10. Don't bother making New Years resolutions as they only guarantee guilt.

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11. By middle age your face has become what you deserve from years of either

     smiles or frowns.

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12. Memorize quotes you like as they'll make you sound smart in conversation.

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13. Also memorize good poetry you like for comfort when feeling down.  

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14. It's a good idea to learn to meditate.

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15. Buy a toolbox made for women as it has all the small essentials needed.

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16. Tell people you love them before its too late.

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17. Quiet conversation works better than loud confrontation, usually.

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18. Don't put mayonnaise as leaf shine on both tops and bottoms of 

     philodendron leaves as they will die of suffocation.  (Yes, I did this.)

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19. Life is too short to waste time or energy on regrets.

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20. Keep a crystal vase of fresh flowers on your dining room table.

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21. Always wear your favorite perfume, even with pajamas.

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22.  Read at least one book a month; better yet, more than one.

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23. Find your own style in hair, clothes, and life...and stick to it.

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24. Learn names of trees as they are everywhere, a calming backdrop to life on earth.

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25. Learn something new every day.

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26. Grandchildren keep your thinking young.  (From sis Thelma.)

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27. Eat whenever and whatever you want.  (From sis Arlene)

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28. If I changed to be liked by some people, the people who already like me 

     would not.  (From sis Thelma.)

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29. If retired don't feel guilty staying up all hours to finish a good book.

    (From sisters Thelma & Arlene.)

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30. Never feel guilty sleeping late in the morning.  (From sis Arlene.)

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31. Living alone and liking it is OK.  (From sis Thelma.)

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32. Laugh a lot with your family, even when you don't feel like it.  (From Thelma.)

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33. Nothing lasts, so be consciously grateful for the good times, and know the bad           ones will fade away.

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34. Eat dessert first.  (From sis Arlene.)

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35. Breathe in summer flowers and dance in the rain.  (From Arlene.)

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36. Wear comfortable shoes.  (From Arlene.)

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37. Wear underwear only if you feel like it, no one will know.

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38. Enjoy today, because tomorrow may never come.  (From Arlene.)

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39. Don't buy a top loading washer if your short arms won't reach the bottom of

     the barrel.  (I did this, too.)

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40. Don't marry anyone you haven't slept with at least once.  

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41. Coffee is good for your circulation and your sanity.

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42. My secret side hides a love of Susie Q's and Twinkies.

   

43. I never met a bean I didn't like.

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44. You won't age gracefully without a sense of humor.

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45. A good marriage is one long conversation, silent or otherwise.

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46. When full of the world's noise, read some Aurelius, Dalai Lama, or Snoopy.

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47. Live well and be ethical always, just in case karmic reincarnation is true!

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48. Think of life's tough times as teachables and learn well. 

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49. Being grateful is the best way to live your life, no matter what.

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50. Don't ask God to give your remaining years to your dying son; it won't work.