Being Your Solo Self
How to be yourself might be something you're still questioning. Well, living alone is one way to find out exactly what your self is.
Are you brave, are you afraid of the dark when all alone?
Can you get through a windy stormy night without calling someone at 3:00 AM for reassurance that the world is just being noisy?
Can you sink or swim on your own?
Everyone should live alone at some point in their life just to answer these questions, acknowledged out loud or not. And in the process will become a stronger person and gain true independence.
Both of which are already inside most people just waiting to break free and yell "Hallelujah, I'm okay after all."
By trial and error, by making mistakes and finding out you didn't die from them, you can begin to accept what you are and are not, and see yourself as a pretty capable person after all.
You begin to enjoy your own company if you hadn't before, because now you are finding out that you are not only a self sufficient human being, but just knowing that makes you feel safer in your living alone home and in your outside life, too. Everyone deserves to discover this safer world.
Dr. Bella dePaulo, a Harvard PhD, discusses the many reasons that living alone is normal and healthy in a collection of her articles called Alone: The Badass Psychology Of People Who Like Being Alone. Her studies and writings validate the many people who remain single in a much-married culture and the ones who choose living alone at some point in their life.
Perhaps how to grow into your true self can be found in other ways. But this one is available to anyone brave enough to go it alone for a while.
A good idea for a single life before growing into the family world of absolute responsibilities like raising children and paying down mortgages.
Or maybe later in life when a beloved husband suddenly dies. Then you are truly on your own in a new unwanted way. Living alone, and then some.
But perhaps not too late to find the self you were meant to be. And never too late, no matter what, to enjoy that liberating discovery. Hallelujah!!